those sisters

two sisters taught me what it is to have a sister

two beds in one room on east 23st street

two bouncing blonde alaskans ready for any adventure

these girls told my secret admirer 

i was the one who put the letter in his mail box

my first real humiliating moment in the cafeteria

all because he was their neighbor

and they had big mouths.

they didn't have cable

so we watched babes in toyland

every time

i liked it too

but they had a distinct obsession

being so young i never understood the 

politics that exist in other families

families that i considered part of my own

all i knew were few facts:

sisters had a love i never knew existed

sisters drew lines in their room

to separate one side from the other

but knew they could never separate 

one heart from the other

i've known them longer than they've known them

and i suppose i always pictured them as the two girls

who had all the cool toys

and a bathroom filled with hair barretts 

because they didn't have a brother like me.

i never thought they would 

disconnect from each other

because i never thought it was possible

for their hearts to be whole while apart

i got to high school and my scenery changed.

followed by high school for one, then the other

puberty is one of those things 

that makes you very aware of yourself

and makes it easy to forget who will be there in 20 years

or even 2.

as they grew older

the sisters got separate rooms

different friends

even locks on their doors

but there was always a magnetic field between them

forcing them to stay bonded

even through the fights.

suddenly our annual christmas eve dinner

(that started with the dawn of time) 

felt different

normally we:

sat at the kids table, making gross food combinations

laughed for hours thinking of stupid things to tell the parents

once we moved to the grown-up table

we would sneak off to get stoned in a not so sneaky way

i would get one drunk despite the opinions of adults

now something felt cold

disconnected

sitting on opposite sides of the room

the aura that once drew them together

was now sending them apart

two sisters taught me what it is to have a sister

taught me what it is to have two parts:

one existing in another

life happens and people reinvent themselves

but i can't force myself to believe

that transformations can leave out your other half

no matter how hard you may try.